These simple tips area a great contribution from Disability Digest member Lady Luck. Enjoy!
As with appearance, many people let their social skills lapse when they become disabled. They tell themselves things like “No one expects me to be nice. They know I’m disabled.” Or “It’s hopeless. It doesn’t matter how I act. I’m different.” This can be a serious mistake. Social skills are the oil that makes society run, and when anyone does not have appropriate social skills (disabled or not) society can be very cruel.
Social skills are acquired by practice, and because many people with disabilities are isolated, their skills either lapse or perhaps they never had a chance to acquire any. Social skills are one way that virtually everyone can compete on a level playing field. Naturally, the use of “please”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome” are basics. Inquiring tactfully about others and responding to what they offer you is almost always a hit. So too can be sharing about yourself. If you are at a loss in a social situation such as a party, a polite smile and an interested look can cover a multitude of sins.
Foreigners who come to this country often make innocent cultural mistakes, as a result of their unfamiliarity with our way of doing things. If you notice carefully, many of them wear a polite smile to show their good will, and to indicate that if they make a mistake it was not deliberate. They are not afraid to ask for help, and are the first to say, “I’m sorry. Please excuse me.” This is how they learn.
I have a friend who is affected by Elephant Man’s disease (I don’t know the correct medical name). He has many tumors and also walks with a limp. When this comes up in conversation with other people that I know, I have been called a liar. My friend’s social skills are so good that people literally do not notice his disability. I have had the same experience with another friend who has mental retardation. Most people do not know that she has a disability because her social skills are marvelous.
If you assess yourself, and you feel you would like to improve your social skills, individual and/or group therapy can be helpful. Part of acceptable social interaction involves predicting and understanding how other people feel, and responding appropriately. A therapist or group can help with this. Beefing up your social skills can be hard work, but the payoff is tremendous.
